They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
