I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
