we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
