if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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