ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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