dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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