your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
