Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
