I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize