this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
