shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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