fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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