Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
