After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
