dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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