I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
should my penis look like a turkey
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
