I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
