Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
