I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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