It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
