It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
