ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
