you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
MIDGETS
????
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
