if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
