now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Come on in and take your pants off
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