Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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