Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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