walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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