Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
