and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
