i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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