Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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