Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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