Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
