just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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