And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
