Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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