My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Found your dick twin last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
