i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
