I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
