An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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