Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
