Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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