Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize