What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
