Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hippo gnu deer
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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