1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
