i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
