Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
