he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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