Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
