The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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