i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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