I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
