I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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