She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
