I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
