my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Farmville is her only friend.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
