At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize